Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize