he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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