Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
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I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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