Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I need water and some morals
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