He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
