Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You may now shotgun with the bride
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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