Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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