i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
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Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize