Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
