so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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