I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
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he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
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all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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