If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
