I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
