This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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