and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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