I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
