Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My penis needs a shock collar
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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