Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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