i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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