i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
