First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize