Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Bring me that man meat
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize