My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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