3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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