3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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