we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
