Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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