Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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