She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
