We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
