hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
