I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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