im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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