I love black thongs
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
my liver is dry heaving
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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