so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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