It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize