apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
