Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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