yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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