U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
