let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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