Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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