You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
