I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Randomize
