yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?