We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
