first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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