i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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