she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You are a genius and a whore.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
