ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
