who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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