I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
