Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
