I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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