Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
if only i could text you this smell
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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