Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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