i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize