Do you still have your period?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize